i

Tuesday  03.25.03

Today is Béla Bartók's birthday.



One reader of this little journal told me he liked that it was largely apolitical. That was before I started writing about the war. I believe some issues are important enough that they deserve to be discussed even in usually apolitical contexts. I applaud Michael Moore for dissing Bush at the Oscars.

But rather than talking about war today, let's talk about testosterone.

Low blood levels of testosterone are fairly common in people with HIV, even among those (like myself) who don't have substantially compromised immune systems. I've been taking supplemental testosterone for about half a year now; a doctor suggested it after I complained of fatigue. It was a milestone, in the sense that it's the first medication I'm taking to deal with a (probable) complication of HIV. (I've been HIV-positive since 1987 and still haven't ever taken any anti-HIV drugs.)

The effects of testosterone are well known, notorious even, but one comes to understand them even better after artificially upping the level. The good news is, I'm less fatigued. I'm a fan for sure--it's worth its weight in gold (grin... like so many drugs, the active ingredient costs more per ounce than gold does). What else does it do? I'm horny more often. My skin is more oily. It's a little easier to lose my temper, but not as much as I had feared it might be. Friends are intrigued and in some cases think they want some for themselves.


Sunday  03.23.03

Of course the people don't want war. But after all, it's the leaders of the country who determine the policy, and it's always a simple matter to drag the people along whether it's a democracy, a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism, and exposing the country to greater danger.      - Hermann Goering, at the time of the Nuremberg trials, 1946

Dear Tony,

I'm terribly worried that you may be losing your grip on reality.

For example, a few days ago you went on television and announced that after the US has bombed Baghdad "We shall help Iraq move towards democracy."

Now I don't want to be a wet blanket, Tony, but was it a leprechaun who suggested this idea to you?

Since the Second World War, the US has bombed China, Korea, Guatemala, Indonesia, Cuba, Guatemala (again), Peru, Laos, Vietnam, Cambodia, Guatemala (third time lucky), Grenada, Lebanon, Libya, El Salvador, Nicaragua, Iran, Panama, Iraq, Kuwait, Somalia, Bosnia, Afghanistan and Yugoslavia--in that order--and in not a single case did the bombing produce a democratic government as a direct result.

[...]