Every so often, someone I meet decides that I would be better off with a boyfriend (or partner of some kind) and tells me how and where I could find one. The advice is generally well-meant, but it's annoying because it is presumptive. If someone has to make an assumption, I'd prefer that they assume I have reasons for living on my own--thus it wouldn't hurt to ask for my thoughts first rather than just telling me what I ought to do. I've lived on my own here in the desert for eight years now, I've given it thought, and I've compared notes with several friends who also live on their own. I have a good idea what I'm doing.
The first neighbor I met when I moved to the desert in 1997 asked me a bunch of questions, including one along the lines of "you moved here by yourself?!"--as if that were a patently bad idea. At that point, I got tired of the questioning and went into flippant-answer mode; I told him that if I'd moved here with someone, they could just dump me anyway, so why not go by myself. (If memory serves, I said this in front of his wife.) My response had the desired effect; it brought the questioning to an end.
I swear, being solitary is harder for people to understand than any number of other choices. I could have all kinds of fetishes that people would accept in a spirit of whatever-floats-your-boat, but quite a few people just don't understand going it alone.
For the record: I'm not wholly reclusive. I have cordial relations with friends (in my area and elsewhere). But I am selective about who I spend time with.
When I lived in the bay area, I knew the veterinarian at the San Francisco Zoo. He said that some people who donated money to the zoo would try to influence the policies about acquiring animals. In particular, they would see a single specimen of some animal and assert that it's lonely and should have some company. They'd say this without first learning about that animal's temperament, about whether it tended to be solitary by nature. The vet thought this was often a case of people projecting their own loneliness onto the animal.
Saturday 06.24.06
Climbed about 700 vertical feet of rock with Brooks today. I have no idea how much longer I'll be able to do this shit. The joints in my fingers aren't liking it, and steep downhill walk-offs are hard on my knees. And, well, my condition for the past few years has been such that a day's worth of activity usually leaves me feeling drained.
I'll miss climbing when it gets to the point that I can't do it any more. I like to say that people should be adaptable, and able to be happy despite limitations; we'll see how well I rise to the occasion.
Wednesday 06.21.06
I came upon a burning car while driving through Death Valley yesterday at about 4 PM. At the side of the road just east of Towne Pass, an SUV towing a trailer was burning like mad: big flames, plume of black smoke, the whole nine yards. I had to decide whether or not to drive past and risk being 10 feet away at the moment when the gas tank blew up. The alternative would've been waiting around in 100° weather and being late for a concert in Vegas.
From the size of the flames, I guessed that the tank had already gone--so I drove past. Over the next 40 miles or so, I saw several emergency vehicles headed that way. (Everything's far apart in Death Valley; it takes a while to get a response.)
I made it to Vegas on time to see Dweezil Zappa playing a concert of his father's songs. It was worth the trip; I love the music, and Dweezil has assembled a first-rate band (that even has a cute boy on keyboards).
I stayed overnight in Vegas and fled after breakfast. No offense to anyone who lives there or likes to visit--but being in Vegas is not my idea of a good time.
Saturday 06.17.06
Two German Shepherd (or similar) dogs dared to walk across the deck on the south side of my house today. I opened the door, stuck my head out, and said "rawr". The dogs turned tail and ran.
Dogs understand territory. An encounter on their own turf probably would've turned out differently.
Cool typography (from 1698), fun reading: the earliest (?) substitution of F--- for fuck.
Friday 06.16.06
So, a majority of Americans polled say they want US troops out of Iraq in a year (or less). 80% of Iraqis want us out, 45% say it's OK to kill Americans, and Iraq's Prime Minister is proposing amnesty for Iraqis who attacked US troops.
This week, the House passed a resolution saying we should stay the course in Iraq. Best I can hope for is that as Republicans keep saying that, more people will see how inane their position is, and they'll get their asses voted out of office in November.
Thursday 06.08.06
UNITED STATES DISTRICT COURT MIDDLE DISTRICT OF FLORIDA ORLANDO DIVISION
AVISTA MANAGEMENT, INC., d/b/a Avista Plex, Inc.,
Plaintiff,
-vs-
WAUSAU UNDERWRITERS INSURANCE COMPANY,
Defendant.
______________________________________
ORDER
This matter comes before the Court on Plaintiff's Motion to designate location of a Rule 30(b)(6) deposition (Doc. 105). Upon consideration of the Motion -- the latest in a series of Gordian knots that the parties have been unable to untangle without enlisting the assistance of the federal courts -- it is
ORDERED that said Motion is DENIED. Instead, the Court will fashion a new form of alternative dispute resolution, to wit: at 4:00 P.M. on Friday, June 30, 2006, counsel shall convene at a neutral site agreeable to both parties. If counsel cannot agree on a neutral site, they shall meet on the front steps of the Sam M. Gibbons U.S. Courthouse, 801 North Florida Ave., Tampa, Florida 33602. Each lawyer shall be entitled to be accompanied by one paralegal who shall act as an attendant and witness. At that time and location, counsel shall engage in one (1) game of "rock, paper, scissors." The winner of this engagement shall be entitled to select the location for the 30(b)(6) deposition to be held somewhere in Hillsborough County during the period July 11-12, 2006. If either party disputes the outcome of this engagement, an appeal may be filed and a hearing will be held at 8:30 A.M. on Friday, July 7, 2006 before the undersigned in Courtroom 3, George C. Young United States Courthouse and Federal Building, 80 North Hughey Avenue, Orlando, Florida 32801.
DONE and ORDERED in Chambers, Orlando, Florida on June 6, 2006.
(emphasis mine; more here)
Note also that a pro rock-paper-scissors playa offered his consulting services to one of the lawyers, and received this response:
Fortunately, we, the attorneys have worked out our differences by agreement. We will not have to resort to combat by RPS. Thanks again and best of luck.
Tuesday 06.06.06
About HIV, a well-known blogger writes:
I survived. Others I loved didn't. There was no fairness in this. None. Countless more are dying - and surviving - with the same senseless randomness. In this sense, AIDS and HIV are just more intense experiences of life itself. Except death, once encountered, becomes always more real; and life never again resumes the ease and oblivion it once contained. HIV is a crash-course in being human.
I remember being at an support group some 17 years ago for people dealing with HIV. I remember a woman who was sad and even angry that a close friend of hers was dying of AIDS. It's not fair, she said.
Various religions promote the idea that life is somehow fair. Live correctly, and (depending on which scripture you read) God will bless you, or you will enjoy good karma. But that's not what I see happening when I look around.
Monday 06.05.06
Sorry I haven't written much lately. I wish there were something exciting to report.
I could write about a Congress that has nothing better to do than debate flag-burning and gay marriage amendments, but I'll leave that to other bloggers.
I can say that it was wonderful just to be in the mountains by Death Valley last Saturday evening, watching the sun set behind the Sierra Nevada some 60 miles away.
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